


The Wedding Crasher

by darringtons



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 08:20:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15139016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darringtons/pseuds/darringtons
Summary: brionyjae asked for: fake dating au! Barry and Cisco have to go undercover as a couple to take down a meta-criminal





	The Wedding Crasher

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brionyjae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brionyjae/gifts).



> Another year, another fic that didn't turn out quite how I wanted. I hope you like it!

It was Cisco’s terrible idea. “Send two of us in as a couple, lure the Wedding Crasher after us and then we’ll take him down. Eh, Wedding Crasher? Amirite?” Cisco said, grinning as the name came to him.

“Okay, who’s going in?” Iris asked, looking around the room.

Barry ran through the possible combinations at lightning speed, and, okay, maybe this part was his fault. Ideally, either he or Cisco needed to be present in case things went bad. Neither of them could pretend to be married to Joe because that would be _weird_ , and pretending to marry Harry would be both weird and unbearable. Caitlin was wearing a look of panic on her face that said she was absolutely off the table, and Iris… was practically his sister, so that would be weird, and putting her with Cisco seemed somehow weirder (though he didn’t give himself time to consider why).

“Me and Cisco,” Barry said, earning a look of surprise and confusion from Cisco, Iris, and Caitlin, as well as a knowing smirk from Harry, which he chose to ignore. “I promise there was plenty of logical reasoning behind that, it just happened really fast in my head. Though, I suppose we could always send Wally and Jesse.”

“Absolutely not,” Harry called from the other room, while Iris gave a flat “No.”

“They’re too new with their powers anyway,” Caitlin said.

“Barry’s right anyway,” Cisco said. “I need to be there to hack into surveillance, and Barry needs to be there to save the day. Excuse me while I work on our cover story.” He rolled away and began typing furiously at his computer.

“You know, you’re perfectly capable of saving the day too,” Barry said as the rest of the team scattered.

Cisco made a pfff noise and waved his hand. “You’re the hero, I make the toys and occasionally hallucinate. I’m perfectly happy with that arrangement.”

Barry frowned. Cisco was acting strange about the situation. “Is this gonna make things weird?” he asked, changing gears. “Me and you, pretending to be a couple. Did I make things weird?”

Cisco turned to face him. “We’re not best friends if we don’t occasionally get mistaken for a gay couple. Just, this time, we’re doing it on purpose. Nothing weird. Caitlin!” He shouted. “I need you to come take increasingly cheesy pictures of Barry and me!”

 

Over the course of several hours, and with help from Felicity in Star City, Cisco had set up two fake profiles, complete with an assortment of corny pictures – some from their real like, but quite a few thrown together with a green screen. The result looked pretty damn good, too.

“It has to look good,” Cisco said. “If the Wedding Crasher has any reason to suspect that we’re not Santiago Muniz and Barton Grey, then we’ll never catch him.”

“Santiago and Barton?” Caitlin asked, looking at the driver’s licenses he’d made up. “Where did you come up with these?”

“First rule of creating a fake identity: never start from scratch. Find a couple of dead guys who would be about our age, fudge a few official documents and hack into the country courthouse, and _voila_ , newlywed couple and a paper trail to fool most. I don’t want to say it was a piece of cake because that would seriously undermine the truly outstanding work I’ve put into it.”

 

Barry and Cisco arrive at the Keystone Grand Hotel in the late afternoon, with copious amounts of fake luggage stuffed into their rental - Barry doesn’t even want to think about how much the thing is costing them, but they’re trying to make an impression, according to Cisco, which means everything has to be big.

“Please be careful with those,” Cisco said to the bellhop as she unloaded the luggage onto a cart. “I have some very fragile heirlooms in those.”

Barry had every intention to helping to bring the luggage in, but Cisco was already half way to the doors.

“Barton, darling,” Cisco called. Barry resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and jogged to catch up with his _husband._

“Ah, you must be mister Muniz!” the concierge said, greeting them with open arms. “We are so happy to have you!”

“And we’re quite happy to be here,” Cisco said. “This is my husband, Barton. Isn’t he _perfect_?” Cisco asked, making swoon-y eyes in Barry’s direction. Barry blushed, but smiled back at them.

“Precious, both of you,” she said. “How long have you been married?”

“Eighteen hours,” Cisco said after a moment of calculating.

“Aww, honeymoon!” She cried. “Why didn’t you say so when you made the reservation? Give me just a moment to move you to our best room.” She ran around to the computer and started typing madly. “So what bring you to Keystone City? We’re not exactly a prime honeymoon location.”

“Anything’s a honeymoon compared to Star City,” Cisco said, laughing a little. “But we’re just here for a couple days, then we’re out to Coast City.”

“Oooh. We’ll, on behalf of the Grand, we’re happy to have you as our guest.” She handed them a little envelope with key cards and the number 5 stamped on it. “Your room is on the top floor. Please, don’t hesitate to call if you need anything, anything at all.”

“Thank you, Darla,” he said, reading her name tag out of the corner of his eye.

“This is so weird,” Barry said out of the corner of his mouth as they walked out of earshot.

“Shh, just go with it,” Cisco said back. He then grabbed Barry’s butt, and set a wink back at the concierge, who tried to hide a smile.

Barry absolutely, totally did _not_ jump when Cisco’s hand made contact with his ass.

They had discussed this. Over the top couple-y-ness was necessary, and both had agreed that they were willing to do whatever they had to. Barry was starting to wish they’d set a few boundaries though, because he wasn’t sure he could handle 2 whole days of Cisco _touching his ass_.

Not without embarrassing himself or making a stupid, stupid decision that would likely ruin their friendship.

 

“We’ll take it from here, thanks,” Cisco told the bellhop as they got off the elevator on the 16th floor.

“Are you sure? I can help you to your room,” she offered.

Cisco shook his head. “That won’t be necessary.” He handed her a twenty and waited for her to get back on the elevator because he started rummaging through one of his bags.

“Don’t you want to wait until we’re in the room?” Barry asked.

“Uh, no. just wait.” Within seconds, he pulled out a small device that looked like a walkman. “Checking for any surveillance,” he explained.

They walked slowly down the hall toward their suite, the not-walkman making light chirping noises all the way. “Looks good so far. Just standard wifi out here.”

Inside the room was no different.

“Alright, time to get set up then,” Cisco said.

 

“I’ve hacked into the internal security systems. There are cameras in the elevators, stairwells, and bottom three floors – community areas, mostly. None in the hallways though, and if someone has any other cameras set up, I haven’t found them yet. I’ve got background on all of the staff, might take a little while to sort through.”

“Anyone start working here in the last three weeks?” Barry asked. That was around the time of the first murders.

Cisco laughed. “Only about forty. Maids, bellhops, kitchenstaff, pool cleaner.”

“Okay, so we’ll cross reference anyone who’s started working here recently with people who were in Central City the night of the particle accelerator explosion.”

“Already on it,” Cisco said, typing away.

 

Cisco narrowed it down to 6 possibilities – a pool cleaner, the new night concierge, an events planner, two maids, and the groundskeeper.

“There’s also a small snag – there is another couple of newlyweds checked in tonight. Caleb and Molly Baker.”

“We’ll have to keep an eye on them,” Barry said.

“Hopefully they’re at the reception tonight,” Cisco said, digging through the luggage.

“Reception?”

“Yes. It’s a fancy-ass hotel with fancy-ass dinner parties.” He tossed a dark burgundy suit to Barry. “Put this on.”

Barry looked at the suit curiously, then disappeared in a blur. Cisco brushed his hair out of his face as Barry reappeared, turning to check the suit in the mirror. “When did you have time to get this tailored?”

“A man should never reveal his secrets. But _hot damn_ , I do good work,” he said, fanning himself with a folder.

 

The party was _way too fancy_. Barry was certain he’d been to actual weddings with less pomp and circumstance.

“Should we, I don’t know, mingle, or something?” Barry asked, growing restless. Dinner had been tasty, if somewhat small portions, and around them the other guests were dancing and chatting away.

“Shall we dance?” Cisco asked, standing to hold his hand out to Barry.

Barry laughed, and took his hand. “Just so we’re on the same page, I haven’t danced since 10th grade.”

“Oh, my man, I will wipe the floor with you.”

They danced for a while, and despite his concerns, Barry was just fine. He only fumbled once, nearly bringing them to the ground.

Cisco pulled Barry down, and whispered in his ear. “I’m going to kiss you now, okay?” He gave just enough pause for Barry to stop him, before locking lips.

When he pulled away, Cisco was blushing, and Barry’s cheeks _definitely_ matched his suit. But the dance, and moreso the kiss, had served its purpose; they were attracting attention from people all over. A few people approached them to comment on how _brave_ they were, and tell them how they were such a cute couple, and on and on. One older woman told them how it warmed her heart to see them together so freely, and how far the world had come since she was young.

The whole thing was starting to make Barry very uncomfortable.

“You wanna head out?” Cisco asked quietly, nudging him in the ribs.

“You think we’ve made enough commotion?” Barry asked.

“If we haven’t caught the Wedding Crasher’s attention yet, we probably never will. Let’s head upstairs and see what happens.”

 

Barry walked out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel.

“I paid a visit to the Baker’s while you were showering,” Cisco said. He had changed out of his suit and was sitting criss-cross on the bed, hunched over the laptop resting on his knees. “They were feeling a little ill and didn’t want to mingle. I left something behind to alert us if anyone tries to enter or exit the room.”

 

Barry grabbed a pillow and tossed himself onto the couch, tucking the pillow under his head as he closed his eyes.

“What are you doing?” Cisco asked.

“What does it look like, I’m going to sleep.”

“But there’s this whole bed right here. Why are you on the couch?”

“I was going to leave the bed for you.”

“Nonsense. There is plenty of space for the both of us.”

“It’s fine.”

“ _Its fine_ , he says. What about when the Wedding Crasher comes in to murder us? Won’t they think it’s strange we, a happily newly wed couple, are not sleeping together?”

“I mean…”

“Yes, Cisco, you are so right,” Cisco said, in his best Barry impression. “Now get over here, or I will throw twizzlers at you until you do.”

Barry rolled his eyes as a twizzler indeed soared right at him. He got up from the couch and settled himself on the bed, leaving adequate space between himself and Cisco. “Are you a cuddler? You seem like a cuddler.”

 

Before either of them had a chance to fall asleep, one of Cisco’s alarms tripped.

“The Bakers!” Cisco said, tripping over the comforter as he ran to his computer. In a blur, Barry changed into his suit and ran down the hall.

 

“Who is this guy?” Cisco asked, looking over the middle aged man Barry had detained. “He wasn’t on my list.”

“He’s one of the guests,” the concierge said. “He’s been here for a few weeks.”

“One of the… guests?” Cisco repeated, rubbing his temple. “How could I have… oh well. Flash, perhaps you should bring him to the authorities?”

 

Cisco had just started packing up his equipment when Barry returned from the precinct. “Todd Winer is in custody.”

“Winer? You think that’s got anything to do with his murder spree?”

Barry shook his head. “Joe looked into him. His fiancé died three weeks ago. The night before their wedding. The ceremony was supposed to be held here.”

 

“You know, it would be a shame to let this suite go to waste,” Cisco said, when his things were mostly packed away. “I mean, it’s already paid for, and the bed is pretty comfy.”

“Comfier than my bed, that’s for sure,” Barry agreed, dropping himself into the sheets.

“Might as well stay the night, right?”

 

As predicted, Barry woke in the morning with Cisco’s arms and legs wrapped around him.

“Dude, I called it,” Barry said, not even bother to detangle himself from the grasp of Cisco.

“We made out in a room full of strangers,” Cisco said sleepily. “What’s a little morning snuggle between friends.”

They lay there for a little while longer, easing into the world of the wake. Eventually, Cisco reached for the nightstand to grab his phone. He snapped a quick picture of he and Barry before checking his messages.

“Tell me you didn’t just set that as your wallpaper,” Barry said.

“You bet your perky white ass I did,” he said, then pecked Barry on the cheek and climbed out of bed. A moment later, he stopped. “Sorry, that was weird.”

Barry grabbed his arm, sending him tumbling back into the bed, and Barry’s lap. Barry kissed him full on the lips before releasing him.


End file.
